I feel bad for not posting this on the 1 year anniversary of the horrible disaster that happened last year...I will never forget about what happened and what I was doing at that exact moment when the earthquake hit... I've been trying to find the right words...figuring out what I should write that would make things fine...I can't believe that a year has passed...A lot of things happened last year...I got married and then I became pregnant..this changed everything for me. When it was just about me & my husband..staying in Tokyo was not a big deal for us, healthwise..but the minute I became pregnant..my feelings completely changed...I suddenly became really anxious and stressed about the radiation levels in the food, the water, and the environment...I started to become really cautious about the food and was barely eating...I didn't know what news was accurate and what wasn't...But I planned to give birth in TOKYO anyway...
Then suddenly at the beginning of January 2012..when I was more than halfway thru my pregnancy..my mother decided that she wanted me to come back to the states and have my baby. She said it was better for me because she could help me thru the first few months... OMG- Was this possible!?!? Why didn't my parents decide this sooner??? I will admit, I started to feel very alone and lost in Tokyo... was I eating correctly? Is my baby going to be healthy?? How are these radiation levels going to affect my baby?? I had so many questions but had no idea where to go for answers. When I asked the opinion of the doctor that was going to give my birth at SANNO HOSPITAL..she was really rude and said 'if I am worried about the food I should go back to my country...'... I was so shocked...so when this offer came.. I agreed right away and started preparing to go back..and in a few weeks..I was on the plane back to OC. I had to cancel all of my projects, work & left my husband back in Tokyo. Leaving him there was the hardest thing for me...
I have been back in california for almost 2 months now and I haven't felt so much relief. My mother & family have been taking very good care of me and it's so nice to not be stressed about food. I know that I'm lucky to have a choice to return to a safe place...and not everyone in Japan has this option...But I will not give up on you Tokyo. I plan to return to Tokyo with my baby after she is born... and I'm praying by then that things will be better with the environment.
There was this amazing BBC documentary about the Children of the Tsunami but it's no longer on Youtube (>.<) I really wish that everyone could watch it...to hear from the children about what happened..and how they felt... Since being away from Tokyo, I haven't been keeping up with what has been happening in Japan..I feel guilty...But like I said, I plan to go back... with baby... Please hang in there Tokyo... and friends..I will see you all very soon!!!!!
The photo above was done by TRIP..a project called PAINT FOR JAPAN that she started after the earthquake on 3.11. 2011.. I think she is still doing it and anyone can join if you send her your photo.
頑張って日本！！！！！
ほよよ〜
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